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eden saki 2

January 2010




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Jan. 4th, 2010

eden gif i

Oh hay I'm gonna be positive now.

 My LJ needs moar positivity. So i'll list some nice things rather than not so nice and LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE. Because that is uh, something I need to work on.

- School tomorrow. Not looking forward to getting up early and going to bed early after my recent routine of sleeping at 3am and getting up between 10:30-11:30am, but ah well. Should be really good to see a few people i've missed loads ;_;

- Need to get the rest of my uni application forms in tomorrow. Then that will be a big load off of my chest if anything. I will try not to freak out.

- Apparently the poster I did the artwork for for my local manga club is going up around the borough tomorrow. Eek, scary. They're putting it on like, bus stops and shit, and it's on the programme for an event they're running. It's a good thing and all but fuck fuck fuuuuck, I will try not to freak out whenever I see it! It's the kind of thing that makes me cringe, so i'm likely to run a mile if I see it or anyone asks if i've done it ;_; There are so many mistakes I can see in it and it was a bit of a rushed job, but nonetheless I am happy in a way. The guy who runs the club, Paul, gave me a massive copy of the poster to keep, and I mean huuuuuge. Much taller than me xD I can't really put it up anywhere though because it's so huge.

- Got my two shoots for the project i'm doing done, now I just need to finish editing them all (about 3/4 of the way through the lot) send off for them, and start the drawing work. Eek. 

- The lens I wanted, the Canon 85mm f1.8 lens has been ordered <3 Won't be here for a while yet, as it was out of stock so they said it should be between 2-3 weeks. Which is awesome. I do not like the fact that all of that money I saved for ages has gone though -cries- and I have a couple of quid to my name now, haha. But I really wanted to put my money to a useful cause, and rather than recklessly spending on many things, to put it towards something that would last me a long time and i'd use a lot and wouldn't be able to afford normally. Most of it was paid for with birthday money and the money my granddad paid me for photographing his wedding. 

- I have just eaten some chicken noodle soup. It was good.

- Currently really liking Death Cab for Cutie. Kind of late discovering them, seeing as they've been floating around forever. I got into I will follow you into the Dark quite a while back (lyrically it's lovely, but the tune isn't all that in my opinion) but because I didn't like the tune I figured all of their songs were like that and didn't really look into their stuff, but it's right up my street. And ah, the lyrics are so lovely, aww!

I wish the world was flat like the old days,
Then I could travel by just folding a map,
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways,
There'd be no distance that could hold us back.

And i'll end on that note, because it's quite nice, isn't it?

Nov. 25th, 2009

eden saki 2

Cosplay Ball + Stoof

Gtfo off my page angst about Uni. I'll put it to the back of my mind right now because I can't be arsed to keep freaking out over it when I should focus more on getting porfolio stuff done than 'OH MAH GAWD BUT I'LL MISS MY FRIENDS/wrist'. So, yeah.

Um, i'm going to the Grand Cosplay Ball thingy on Sunday. Wasn't going to be there for long because of getting home and stuff but Maz has offered to let me crash at his (wahey, will sneak Monday off school) which means I can stay for most of it, yey. So if anyone see's me floating around with a camera and stacking it in my shoes which-need-re-heeling-because-they-are-wonky-and-angular say hi :)
Also doing a shoot with the Isa on Saturday (I will discuss meeting times etc with you at some point if you're reading this woman) and thats about it really.

Thats pretty much it. I've spent most of today painting so I lack the ability to speak pretty much. Uhhh...

Oh yeah. Yesterday I was raging about the Utada gig but i'm pretty much over it now; its a pain in the arse and everything but theres nothing that could be done so I guess I just have to live with the annoying-ness that is ticketmaster selling me a ticket they don't have and then telling me I can't go because they suck. Eugh.

That doesn't sound like a positive ending does it? Uh, looking forward to the weekend I guess? x3

Nov. 9th, 2009


All of a sudden I feel overwhelmingly sad.

 This is rather spontaneous as it's only just happened.

There was this guy I started randomly speaking to on DA a few months back, and you know when you just get on with someone instantly? After 5 minutes of conversation I felt like we were best friends, he was awesome and we just clicked like that and it was the oddest thing but I felt like i'd made this fantastic new friend. We chatted quite a bit, over msn (those who know me know I rarely go online, but I did for a bit as it was easier and we spoke for hours) and became really good friends. He lives further up the country, and we were thinking about meeting up the day i'd be leaving Liverpool after staying up there with Holleh and co. His internet went buggered for a while, and he wasn't on DA for ages. Then it came back, we chatted for a bit, we spoke on msn briefly. I went to Liverpool, and he hadn't been on DA for ages, and we didn't meet up. He stopped using DA for a while.
Today I went on there in the hopes that he'd have started using it again, but he's quit. No link for a new page or anything.
All I have is his msn, and he's rarely online, as am I.
I know it's silly. I know we hardly knew each other, we never met, didn't even speak all that often. But I feel so overwhelmingly sad because I felt as though i'd made this new friend who I clicked with so wonderfully well; I was really looking forward to becoming better friends, meeting up, etc. I couldn't wait. And maybe now we'll never talk again.
I realise this is all rather incoherent and silly but I feel so terribly sad now.

Oct. 5th, 2009

eden gif i

you are the perfect drug.

Uh, so I suppose a long overdue life update is in order? I've been avoiding writing this all week because i've been busy and knew this would distract me majorly/ Now essays are temporarily out of the way, granddads wedding photos are edited, and I have a moment to BREATHE so I may aswell.

Life is generally good if I look on the bright side, which admittedly I don't all that often, haha. Something good has happened, but I know it won't end the way I want it to so despite my uber-happy binge when this first happened, i'm now mellowing down and thinking on the pessimists side because a) its most likely the way things will go, and i'll be less angsty when I find out i'm right and b) means I won't get excited over something that inevitably may not happen. So I was basically on this super happy hype last week which was insane, haha! Now i'm more neutral. I'm okay with that.
Note to self: never tell Aisha or James gossip related to your life. They get more worked up about it than you. No, really. I've pretty much had a text from James every day asking about whats going on with the situation. What a woman.

In less random news, schools okay. Visited Kingston Uni at the weekend and lovelovelove it <3 So really trying to get my butt in gear and actually get some art stuff done for my portfolio. Started an oil painting yesterday now that I actually own a bottle of turps, and thats actually progressing shockingly well. Oh oil paints, I love thee <3

Okay, I shit you not, I just got another text from James, oh god...XD;

But yeah, really need to get my act together in the art/photography sense really. I do next to no art outside of school so working on that. I REALLY want to get into this uni.
Schoolwork atm is bearable, but I know the real workload is likely to kick in soon so i'm making the most of the (albeit limited) free time I currently had. This is mainly going to uni open days, doing photoshoots, shite like that. Not really free time is it?

My birthday was also fucking fantastic - some of my close friends such as James, Aisha, Ellie, folks like that all went out and got me a giant life-sized cut out of Obama, I shit you not. It is so amazing, and he currently lives in my room. Honestly, words cannot quite describe the mad love I have for my friends, and their thoughtfullness. They all know me too well, haha. I got such lovely gifts! Lots of personal presents, which always make me smile. So a few of the things I remember off the top of my head are things like the new tablet Maz got me <333, a tshirt saying 'I love the frog' from Emily (private joke XD), and just so many lovely little quirky bits like a penguin purse, a chocolate champagne bottle with my name on it, photo frames, and the little messages I got in some of my cards and on the back of Obama....aww :) I also had a really fun party that I thoroughly enjoyed, despite a lot of the far-away chaps not being able to make it 3: It was great getting to see a lot of close friends within such a short space of time, eeee. I wish it hadn't ended ;_;

I also got an iphone, which I dropped for the first time today, haha. I'm so nervous! I break phones really easily so i'm trying my hardest to be extra-vcareful. Being able to browse the net in-lesson is super useful actually, i've been booking uni open days in school and doing photography research in lesson, its fantastic! :) I'm such a nerd, haha. I'm also addicted to Tap Tap Revenge, which had sucked up a large portion of my life. 
AND AND AND. I've started forcing myself to walk to and from school. Mostly prompted by the large quantities of chocolate I got for my birthday, but I've lost a teeny tiny bit of weight so it's clearly doing me good, so I hope to carry that on :)

I think thats all?

Aug. 5th, 2009

eden gif i

I found a reason.

My favourite song at present <3 I really liked V for Vendetta too, must read the graphic novel at some point...
Cover of a Velvet Underground song, and skin me if you like, but I do prefer this version - personally, I think its much more emotive, but there you go.

Oh I do believe
In all the things you say
What comes is better than what came before

And youd better come come, come come to me
Better come come, come come to me
Better run, run run, run run to me
Better come

Oh I do believe
In all the things you say
What comes is better that what came before

And youd better run run, run run to me
Better run, run run, run run to me
Better come, come come, come come to me
You'd better run


Jul. 17th, 2009


we can build a new tomorrow.

Okay, first off, NIN. I won't blabber on about it on here seeing as few will want to read it, but if you are interested I wrote a lengthy deviantart journal here: http://ravenblakh.deviantart.com/journal/25989083/#comments and I also reviewed the gig itself here: http://www.withdrumsandcolour.com/music/live-reviews/78-nine-inch-nails-live-at-the-02.html Check 'em out!
And speaking of, please give your support to this site www.withdrumsandcolour.com , it's where I wrote the NIN review. Shameless self-whoring, but seriously. It'd be nice if a few people take a look, I also did a write up on Harry Potter, Leeds Fest, and a review for Mulholland Drive. I'm not great at writing reviews, but its something i'd like to improve on so it's good experience :)
But yeah, amazing gig <3 The best concert i've ever been to, and I do worry that i'll forever be disappointed in any other gigs I go to now, haha.


Patrick Wolf!
Again, its covered a bit better in my DA journal but yeah; I met Patrick Wolf! To keep it short and sweet, he was sitting in the row behind us at NIN so me and my dad went and had a chat with him at the end and he SHOOK MY HAND! <3 Admittedly he was a tad tipsy I think, but he was really lovely, and it was such an amazing experience because I have a great admiration for him as a musician, and to meet him in person...just wow. Really surreal <3

Not much going on my end D8 well, I break up from school today. Broke up. Whatever. Although I sort of finished yesterday because I didn't want to go in today for 3 hours just to sit through an assembly and sit in form. So I gave it a miss and watched Hot Fuzz x3 Productive day! Most of my friends went to see Harry Potter but I need to cut down on days out for a bit so i'm giving it a miss for now. I will see it at some point; might go with Sophie and a few folks and get cheap tickets with Orange Wednesdays, aha.
So onto summer! I don't have millions of plans because our family holiday only got booked today so I wasn't allowed to arrange anything in August other than the trip to see Holly. Which means I'll be away for...well, the majority of August. And i'll miss my exam results; they should be posted home to me and then i'll be off to Holly, so if I arrive emo'd up you know i've failed! XD
Other than that, very little to report :|
Oh, wait, no, thats a lie - won two sets of itunes fest tickets; Calvin Harris + Miike Snow on Saturday, Bloc Party on Monday. Mostly looking forward to Bloc Party, but still 8D Basically, my dad won some and I won some, woot! Free gig ftw 8D


Jul. 2nd, 2009

eden saki 2

I'm on ur livejournal...

 ...cloggin' ur friends page wiv quizzes.

I'm pretty sure about only 3 people i've mentioned on this list have LJ, and only one is a regular user reaaaaally, so meh. Pretty sure i've done this before too, blah -_-
The Rules:
+ list 11 things you want to say to 11 different people.
+ don't say who they pertain to.
+ feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
+ never discuss it again.
1. If you keep stuff like that from me again I will roundhouse kick you in the face. Really. I would much rather you rant to me about what is happening than not tell me and make things worse. I want to be there for you, k?
2. Oh, you too I guess. Please tell me whats up. Please? I'm really fucking worried.
3. Words cannot describe how disappointed in you I am and how disgusted I am at you. But i'm not allowed to say, so I have to pretend I still like you and trust you. Which I don't, by the way. I believe this could be a problem...
4. I'm kind of starting to like you, but I don't know whether it's actual feelings, boredom, or y'know, being a tad frustrated. Thats pretty bad, isn't it?
5. I actually expected that of you, and i'm not angry at you. Which is pretty bad really, because i'm angry at 3 so uh...yeah. But I guess it's because I know you're like that, it's not shocking at all. I still think you're a fucking idiot, but it'll be easier for me to pretend i'm not rageful around you I suppose.
6. You are gorgeous, don't think otherwise. I know you're down about him, but trust me, he's missing out. Pssh, men. You're lovely <3
7. I just remembered how awesome the summer is going to be, eeee! <3 I can't wait to see you again, obvs <333
8. And you, don't let that prick upset you (really, is it any wonder I don't like men? XD) you are wonderful and gorgeous and he's ugly and short and thinks he's fab when he's in fact a fugly little bugger. Harsh but true, you're so much more awesome than him :D
9. WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN AGES MAN WE NEED TO MEET UP AS PLANNED D: I miss photoshoots and minstrels ;_; and you, obvs ;___;
10. I wish we lived closer together so we could hang out more than a few times a year like we do now, you're one of the coolest people on the planet, and you're super mature for your age too. Sometimes I forget you're younger than me, haha :)
11. Yeah, I wish you didn't live half way up the country too, you're one of the few guys I find it really easy to get along with and it sucks you don't live in London. Lets meet up sometime plz? You're awesome 8D

Jun. 15th, 2009

mudkip liek pokemon

Ooft, long time no post?

 Ah, sort of. Only a few weeks mind, but I got into to the habit of using this and I sort of stopped XD Actually, I haven't been very active online anywhere recently; DA, Facebook, here, anywhere....D8 Then again being back at school probably doesn't help.
We're only in for about a month or so, so it's not /so/ bad because we don't have the pressures of revision. We do however have to still do a lot of work, which I was hoping wouldn't be the case. Admittedly, english lit and history are projects introducing us to the course which is bearable, but art and photography, my two top subjects, we've pretty much been thrown in the deep end. Ack, 3000 word essays for both subjects? Its not the worst thing as I do english and history so essays are no strangers to me, then again more essays on top of the ones I already have isn't fab. Do not want kthnxbai.

And we also have to go on a stupid amount of gallery visits. Because I do the two artsy subjects, this means I have to do 4 gallery visits in the next 2 weeks. Oh boy. Squeezed two in yesterday (the trains were a nightmare might I add, no trains running from my station wtfff) and have to do another 2 next week, on fathers day. Its okay because I can't go on Saturday because i'm going out with my dad that day anyway, so I guess it evens out. But eugh, its such a pain. I can hardly afford London trips right now, and I hate asking my parents for the money all of the time. I do the housework for it when I can, but its still a bit eh. They pay for a lot, and i'm grateful, and I hate that I have to have more every time I need to go on a school-related trip. Ffff-

Speaking of school trips, another one in two weeks. Basically 3 days straight of painting trees. Not my favourite subject, but should be good for my portfolio. Then it's James birthday and we're going out for that I think, then more Uni visits (oh yeah, I have one this week too) and then a shoot in London/LFCC/etc. So the next few weekends will be hectic anyway. Some should be fun, but we'll see. I'm glad I have at least one shoot lined up soon, I really miss doing shoots. I can't always do them in my area, and being back at school means no weekdays and weekends are taken up by yet more school related activities, and money is taken up by school things. Whai school, whai do you steal my very small income of money and time? XD

I think thats all with me; other than the heat. Its nice n'all, but school uniform in this weather? Do not waaaant ;_; Trousers and shirts and blazers, eek. I don't have the confidence to wear skirts anymore ;_;

I want to watch a fiiiiilm but I need to work ;____; The horror. Actually, I could watch a horror, its relevant to school shizz. I've got an idea for photography that stems from horror, but I need to use basic horror/macabre/dark photography as a starting point and build from there. Anyone know any good horror/dark/macabre/etc photographers?


May. 25th, 2009

eden saki 2

Expo Report 'Yo

 I'll probably post a more brief/less personal account on my DA later.

So this expo weekend...not my best expo ever but it was still pretty damn good! Over the course of the weekend I saw about 90% of the people I wanted to see, even if only briefly or for one day, which was great. However, this also meant it was very hectic, and not only was I constantly running backwards and forwards, but it also meant my credit went pretty fast. By the end of Saturday I had £3, and I ran out about half way through the day (so sorry to anyone who I couldn't call about shoots/text back eek) which made things quite difficult, but that always happens to me at expo so it wasn't a surprise.

I did a heck of a lot of shoots, which i'm trying to hurridly edit as many as poss tonight as tomorrow revision starts, and will continue until my exams on the 2nd and 8th October. Which means I won't be around much, sozbeef. It also means photo uploads will be slow. I'm starting with Sunday's photos because I shot them in RAW and they are much bigger files, so the sooner I can get them edited and off of my computer and onto my portable hardrive the better - plus, I can't view RAW files on my computer and it takes much longer for me to pick and chose which ones look best so I have to open each individually, so it's better I get the ones that take longer out of the way. So in theory, i'm working backwards, aha.

But yeah, pretty pleased with most of the shoots - not so much the shots I took of the Code Geass guys on Saturday morning because I had just experienced the 'OH MY GOD THE LIGHTING IS WEIRD I NEED TO CHANGE MY SETTINGS AJSNAKDNFK' feeling, so I couldn't quite get the settings perfect. Plus, I didn't shoot RAW, so fixing said lighting is difficult and a lot of the photos are way too dark /wrist But otherwise, most are looking good which is nice. As the day went on I managed to work out what settings looked best so the shoots got progressively better, aha. 

Met a ton of the old folks over the two days (to name a few: Maddy, Nat, Jo, Scott, Cara, Priya, Isa, Holly, Jo flip flap, Lucy, Jenn, Sean, Tasha, Nomi, Laura, Charlotte, Kherrigan, Bex, Rebecca, Mix, Emma, Fae, Miri, Moo, Kieran, Nikki, Charlie, Samm, Kath, Dani, YOU GET THE IDEA) as well as meeting some new folks, namely Saffron, Simon, and his friend-who-i-didnt-catch-the-name-of. There were a few people I didn't bump into, but mostly I did alright which was nice. I only saw folks like Maddy, Nat, Isa and co briefly seeing as we were all rushing to get to places, but it was cool regardless n_n And meeting Saffron and Simon finally was really cool - Saffron is ratherlovely.com and Simon is rather cool aswell, as was his friend; I usually freak out when talking to guys just because I don't often get on with them that well, so getting on well with both of them with no problems was a surprise. I helped them both with some stuff for their blog, which was cool too 8D Hmm, and I saw Maz for all of about 5 minutes (insert numerous swear words here) and seeing as he left me to wait in the sun for about 10-15mins when I was already quite burnt and just generally being a bit useless, I wasn't too pleased to see him anyway. My mood lifted afterwards when I found the brother who had been awesome and lovely and bought me a Kamina phone charm (FFFFF-) and Gurren Brigade iron-on patch. IT IS SAFE TO SAY I WAS A HAPPY CAT AT THIS POINT. 

But oh yeah, both days I was somewhat ill/injured, aha. I had a major headache throughout the whole of Saturday (which according to Bex was 'photoshoot stress' aha) and on Sunday I got stupidly burnt...and as I had my camera around my neck all day, I have nice camera-strap burn lines on my chest, as well as burn lines on both arms up until where my wristbands were. Fab.

Becca Crabfaec stayed round mine from Sunday>Monday too which was pretty faaaahbulous. We looked through/lol'd at photos, exchanged music, and chatted to Jo on the phone yesterday, and did a shoot with Sophie in the park this morning which was pretty cool too. She left a few hours ago now which is sad (I MISS MAH CRAB ;_;) but a nice end to a good weekend nonetheless.

But despite all of the mishaps it was a really good weekend! I feel exhausted now, but it was worth it, as always <3

I have my history exams on the 2nd and 8th so I have to revise for those...last exams, whee! See some of you afterwards~

May. 22nd, 2009

eden saki 2

Perfect Blue

 So today I finally got around to watching the Satoshi Kon film 'Perfect Blue', which i've been meaning to watch for a good few years now.
I won't go much into the plot (for spoiler reasons, and y'know...it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense anyway, and there isn't necessarily a 'set in stone' plot as such) but has anyone else seen it? I want to talk theories guys ^_^

I think it's very Mulholland Drive esque, and very Lynch-esque overall, and seeing as i'm a big David Lynch fan and Mulholland Drive is one of my favourite movies, it pleased me. Quite heavy stuff, much like Lynch, they didn't tone down the sex or the violence at all (violence doesn't bother me, but i'm still a bit cringey when it comes to sex scenes, haha) but I suppose the extremity of that reflects the plot and it is relevant in so many ways, so it doesn't bother me a great deal.

It's quite a bit like Paprik aswell, but obviously far more sinister.

Anywho who is interested in theories, there are quite a few really good one's on the IMDB forum; mostly about who killed who, the title of the film, the many Mima's, the ending, and so on. 

And jeeeezus christ, that Me-Mania guy is creeeepy! D8 

And worryingly, I adore illusion Mima's outfit in the final scenes...y'know, the red dress with the umbrella? Yeah.
God, if I could sew...


Movies aside, it's expo tomorrow ohgohohgodohgod. I doubt i'll be Paprika, my hair ended up going dark brown with purple tints and REALLY STUPIDLY BRIGHT RED ROOTS, so I just don't look like her with my current hair, haha. Unless it miraculously changes colour in the morning, aha. So yeah, i'll just be plain old me I guess~
See some of you there ^_^

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